Are you someone who constantly puts the needs of others before your own, even at the expense of your own well-being? You may think that you are simply a “nice” person, but in reality, it could be a result of your past traumas. Fawning is a common response to trauma, where you prioritize the needs and feelings of others as a way to feel safe and avoid potential harm. In this blog post, we will explore seven signs that may indicate that you are fawning due to trauma, and offer some insight on how to break free from this harmful pattern.
7 Signs You’re Not “Too Nice”, It’s Your Trauma (Fawning)
Many people are told that they’re “too nice,” but what if their behavior is actually a result of trauma? Trauma fawning is a common sign of PTSD that occurs when you excessively seek attention and affection from people who have hurt or traumatized you in the past. People-pleasing can also be a symptom of trauma fawning. Understanding the signs of trauma fawning can help you take steps to heal and improve your relationships with others.
7 Signs You’re Not “Too Nice”, It’s Your Trauma (Fawning)
1. You Do Things for Others Even if You Don’t Want To
Trauma fawning can lead to people-pleasing behaviors where you go out of your way to make others happy, even if it comes at your own expense. Whether it’s agreeing to plans you don’t want to do or taking on extra work at the office, you may find yourself constantly sacrificing your own needs in order to make others happy.
2. You Avoid Conflict at All Costs
Because trauma fawners seek to please others, they often avoid conflict and confrontation. This can mean not speaking up when someone has hurt you or failing to set clear boundaries in your relationships. While conflict can be uncomfortable, it’s an important part of healthy relationships and should not be avoided at all costs.
3. You Over-Apologize
Those who struggle with trauma fawning often find themselves apologizing for things that aren’t their fault or taking the blame for situations that are out of their control. This can be a sign that you’re overly focused on pleasing others and are taking on responsibility for things that aren’t your responsibility.
4. You’re Constantly Seeking Validation
Trauma fawning can lead to constantly seeking validation from others. Whether it’s through compliments, social media likes, or other forms of attention, you may find yourself seeking external validation in order to feel good about yourself.
5. You Struggle with Saying “No”
Another sign of trauma fawning is struggling to say “no” to others. You may feel guilty or anxious at the thought of saying “no” to someone, especially if they have previously hurt or traumatized you. This can lead to a cycle of people-pleasing and sacrificing your own needs.
6. You Have Difficulty Expressing Your Own Needs
Because trauma fawning is focused on pleasing others, individuals who struggle with this may have difficulty expressing their own needs and desires. This can lead to resentment and frustration in relationships and can make it difficult to establish healthy boundaries.
7. You Experience Anxiety and Guilt Around Receiving Help
Trauma fawning can also make it difficult to receive help from others. You may feel guilty or anxious about accepting help, especially if you’re used to doing things for others. This may lead to feelings of isolation and self-reliance, which can be harmful to mental health.
Coping mechanisms can be explained by trauma
Many coping mechanisms can be explained by trauma, including trauma fawning. If you notice these signs in yourself, it’s important to address the root of the behavior and consider seeking help from a mental health professional.
Trauma can also lead to the fight, flight, freeze, and fawn response. While the fight and flight responses are often discussed, the freeze and fawn responses are less well-known. Understanding the fawn response can help individuals take steps to address trauma and improve their relationships with others.
People-pleasing can have subtle effects on mental health. It can lead to feelings of burnout, exhaustion, and anxiety. It’s important to establish healthy boundaries and prioritize self-care in order to avoid these negative consequences.
Rejection trauma and the freeze/fawn response are interconnected. Rejection can lead to trauma, and trauma can lead to the fawn response. Those who experience rejection trauma may be more likely to struggle with people-pleasing or avoid conflict.
Seek help from trauma clinics if needed.
If you or a loved one is struggling with trauma fawning or other symptoms of trauma, it’s important to seek help from trauma clinics. These clinics specialize in treating trauma and can help individuals develop coping mechanisms and strategies for healing.
If you recognize any of these signs in yourself, it’s important to seek help and take steps to address the root of the behavior. Whether it’s addressing childhood trauma or working on establishing healthy boundaries in your relationships, healing from trauma is possible. Remember, you’re not “too nice” – you’re just struggling with the after-effects of trauma.
What is trauma fawning?
Trauma fawning is a common sign of PTSD that occurs when you excessively seek attention and affection from people who have hurt or traumatized you in the past. People-pleasing can also be a symptom of trauma fawning.
What are some signs of trauma fawning?
Signs of trauma fawning include doing things for others even if you don’t want to, avoiding conflict at all costs, over-apologizing, seeking validation from others, struggling to say “no,” difficulty expressing your own needs, and experiencing anxiety and guilt around receiving help.
Can trauma fawning lead to mental health issues?
Yes, trauma fawning and people-pleasing can lead to feelings of burnout, exhaustion, and anxiety if healthy boundaries and self-care aren’t established.
How can trauma fawning be addressed?
Trauma fawning can be addressed through therapy, establishing healthy boundaries, and developing self-care practices.
Where can I seek help for trauma-related issues?
You can seek help from trauma clinics, mental health professionals, or support groups in your area. It’s important to find a resource that works best for your individual needs.